Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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