So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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