She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
