the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
