she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
NoShamevember. You game?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
