paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
