id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
