STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
