Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize