apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
