I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
