areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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