dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
