I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
