Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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