Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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