guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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