I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
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