just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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