I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
