Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
