He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
