Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
