I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
