she looked like the bat from fern gully.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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