I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
