After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize