So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
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FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Another day, another engagement, another cat
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I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much