i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.