Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
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took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a