forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
