Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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