I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
