We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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