wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
