have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
