I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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