nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Randomize
