A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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