Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Houston, we have a squirter
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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