how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Randomize
