seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize