They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize