sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
