Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
