Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
