No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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