Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
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