I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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