The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
