That's intense
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
