just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
