just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
