my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
