Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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