I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
