Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
