If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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