what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
