i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
