Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
