The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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