I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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