Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
