I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize