...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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