It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
