i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
