Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
BRING THE BAGELS
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
