I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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